Mindful Quote(s) of the Day 07APR 2014 – Suffering

Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.” 
? Thích Nh?t H?nh

Happiness Quote of the Day 21 March 2014 – Mental Habits

Thich Nhat Hanh

Cover of Thich Nhat Hanh

We have negative mental habits that come up over and over again. One of the most significant negative habits we should be aware of is that of constantly allowing our mind to run off into the future. Perhaps we got this from our parents. Carried away by our worries, we’re unable to live fully and happily in the present. Deep down, we believe we can’t really be happy just yet—that we still have a few more boxes to be checked off before we can really enjoy life. We speculate, dream, strategize, and plan for these “conditions of happiness” we want to have in the future; and we continually chase after that future, even while we sleep. We may have fears about the future because we don’t know how it’s going to turn out, and these worries and anxieties keep us from enjoying being here now.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh Feelings come and go likes clo...

Thich Nhat Hanh Feelings come and go likes clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor (Photo credit: symphony of love)

Quote of the Day 01 February 2014 – Happier

Cover of "Influencer: The Power to Change...

Cover via Amazon

“The average human being is actually quite bad at predicting what he or she should do in order to be happier, and this inability to predict keeps people from, well, being happier. In fact, psychologist Daniel Gilbert has made a career out of demonstrating that human beings are downright awful at predicting their own likes and dislikes. For example, most research subjects strongly believe that another $30,000 a year in income would make them much happier. And they feel equally strongly that adding a 30-minute walk to their daily routine would be of trivial import. And yet Dr. Gilbert’s research suggests that the added income is far less likely to produce an increase in happiness than the addition of a regular walk.”
Kerry PattersonInfluencer: The Power to Change Anything

Marc’s Words of Wisdom 07Jan 2014 – Optimism

Ridin boots via vladtepish

Ridin boots via vladtepish

I never considered myself an optimist. I thought I was a realist through and through, always making sure I understood that, for every good thing that happens, something bad must happen. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

I was often mistaken for a pessimist not because of my looking for something good to come from bad but from my looking for something bad to come from good. Literally turning my head and waiting for it. Every person I saw was a threat. I had this angry aura about me. Most often kept inside of me festering.

My realism has came in quite handy as a technical writer with vision for scoping and compiling requirements for both logical and physical projects… Specifically in forming use-case-scenarios and quality assurance testing.

I’ve never believed my future would be better than my past, because that was what I learned and was told. As a matter of fact, I never really believed I would have a future or that I wanted one at all. There are some dark ages that see light now, where passively suicidal behavior and risk taking that were a big part of my lifestyle are gone, but for risk. The worst risk is the one not taken.

Time changes attitudes… it heals wounds a little too… at least it has for me. I’m no longer angry person in general… but I can still get angry, however, I prefer kindness and understanding. Anger sucks energy from your soul.

Time that I never thought I would have has turned me into an optimist. I believe in optimism. My present and my future are and will be better than my past. I am completely responsible for this change in thinking with the help of PTSD therapy. There is a small hand full of people… a small circle of family who also have had a role in my healing and change. I could not or would not have accomplished this shift in thought on my own.

My family is my reason for living. My reason for wanting to live and wake up again tomorrow. To change a little more for the better. To enjoy the happiness and love that I feel surrounding me. I have what I feel are compelling reasons to live that escaped me until recently… hugs. Hug therapy. Unintended consequences of wanting to live. I shared a hug last night, promptly fell asleep and awakened the happy man I realized I am and have been.

My name is Marc and I am an optimist. I believe my present is brighter than my past. I believe my future will be brighter because of the people in my present and future.

My life has meaning… It’s good to be alive.

Quote of the Day 27 December 2013 – Happiness (again)

Liz Lemon Happy

Liz Lemon Happy (Photo credits: Giphy)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If I am to believe everything that I see in the media, happiness is to be six foot tall or more and to have bleached teeth and a firm abdomen, all the latest clothes, accessories, and electronics, a picture-perfect partner of the opposite sex who is both a great lover and a terrific friend, an assortment of healthy and happy children, a pet that is neither a stray nor a mongrel, a large house in the right sort of postcode, a second property in an idyllic holiday location, a top-of-the-range car to shuttle back and forth from the one to the other, a clique of ‘friends’ with whom to have fabulous dinner parties, three or four foreign holidays a year, and a high-impact job that does not distract from any of the above. There are at least three major problems that I can see with this ideal of happiness. (1) It represents a state of affairs that is impossible to attain to and that is in itself an important source of unhappiness. (2) It is situated in an idealised and hypothetical future rather than in an imperfect but actual present in which true happiness is much more likely to be found, albeit with great difficulty. (3) It has largely been defined by commercial interests that have absolutely nothing to do with true happiness, which has far more to do with the practice of reason and the peace of mind that this eventually brings. In short, it is not only that the bar for happiness is set too high, but also that it is set in the wrong place, and that it is, in fact, the wrong bar. Jump and you’ll only break your back.”
Neel BurtonThe Art of Failure: The Anti Self-Help Guide

Quote of the Day 23 December 2013 – Predicting

Cover of "Influencer: The Power to Change...

Cover via Amazon

“The average human being is actually quite bad at predicting what he or she should do in order to be happier, and this inability to predict keeps people from, well, being happier. In fact, psychologist Daniel Gilbert has made a career out of demonstrating that human beings are downright awful at predicting their own likes and dislikes. For example, most research subjects strongly believe that another $30,000 a year in income would make them much happier. And they feel equally strongly that adding a 30-minute walk to their daily routine would be of trivial import. And yet Dr. Gilbert’s research suggests that the added income is far less likely to produce an increase in happiness than the addition of a regular walk.”
Kerry PattersonInfluencer: The Power to Change Anything

Quote of the Day 20 December 2013 – Happiness

English: Emotions associated with happiness

English: Emotions associated with happiness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“If someone offered the chance to be happy for the rest of your life, everyone in the room will bid, but what they don’t know that the secret is nothing, they all have the power already with them.

One of the most bizarre quirks of human beings is that they have always craved for happiness and yet have always found it difficult to find the things that would really make them happy. The everlasting happiness cannot be achieved through other people or the materialistic things.”
RKSJA Short Affair Called Life

I Have Reached The Promised Land (So I Say)

I have reached the promised land. 146 pounds! However, that’s not the entire store or the promised land.

The first thing that comes to mind is the biblical definition… you have to believe that… but there are many sides to that story and in no way is my definition biblical. God promised it to the jews… specifically Jacob, Abraham, Isaac… but there are also christian and islamic Palestinians who also believe they fit in that group. There’s no fixing the confusion with that promised land with “divine” roots. We are led to believe that after 40 years… of wandering like the bedouins of today, they reached the promised land… nah.

There’s the use of it by Martin Luther King in his famous “I have a dream” speech. He never made it to his promised land.

The urban definition of promised land is sexual in nature and has a few definitions… the promised land is a vagina or pussy as some would call it. It’s the region of a woman’s body promised to every man. (really?) When I was 14 I hooked up with Emily as her dad watched and I reached the promised land… so to speak. NO… this is not the promise land I’m speaking of, nor the ones listed above.

My promise land is about reaching goals, both short term and long term. Some I thought I would never reach. Business goals have always been accessible to me. It’s the personal ones that I never really made. Didn’t think I would ever have a chance to see them through. Once I moved to Las Vegas, life changed for me and I began to very slowly and with reluctance set goals, personal ones for myself and while at the time or times, I still wasn’t a believer that I would be able to achieve them. Most of the time, I did not achieve personal goals. They were unattainable at the time. I considered them with a low likelihood of success. I thought about them. I (day)dreamed about them. I was wrong about that low likelihood of success after quite a few years. The personal goals are now coming so fast, they occasionally pass me by and I fail to recognize them because they are so foreign to me.

I’ve been able to reach goals that have a lot of personal meaning and have allowed me to find my “true self”. I never considered the fact that I had a true self. I was just existing (personally) as a monument to what I was told and taught I was… I’ve been able to focus on my self-identity, which is a little confusing and ambiguous to some, but I do have one. I tried not to set goals on the basis of peer pressure because I knew I would never follow through. However, I was more than willing to fight for myself after a certain point. It was that day… that date that keeps coming up. July 8, 2009 was the day I made a dramatic change and began to fight for my soul. Fight from the inside out. A fight that no one could see. The day I took control of my own life.

My personal well being actually exists now and is no longer a dream. I have succeeded in reaching some of my long term (4 years) personal goals that had a subjective and dramatic unveiling of happiness. I worked really hard to get to the happiness part and because of that, it holds more importance than something or a goal that is/was easily attainable. I don’t have some sort of scale to measure my level of happiness because it always escaped me, but, if I use my feelings as they are today, I’m just pretty fucking happy.

Through a sequence of steps that have taken years (therapy and self determination)… some of them quite painful emotionally, I have been able to reach both short term and long term goals. Not all of them. Many of the hardest ones. Many of the ones I initially thought I would carry with me to the grave (crematorium preferred thank you very much) without ever accomplishing them.

I have reached the promised land. My promised land. I have cut some cords that should have never been connected. I am in control of my life. I feel like I have a mission and a meaning for life.

I have reached a weight that I haven’t seen in years along with a percentage of body fat that is getting close to normal 146 lbs and 11.4% body fat. My lean body mass is smack dab in the middle of normal. Ya see, I have this eating disorder. I’m a stress non-eater. If I feel stress, I feel no hunger and can go the whole day and just forget I have never eaten or ever get hunger pains. Stress makes my core tighten… and twist. Not as tight as it used to.

In a few days I take another major step. I’m cutting the phone cord. My mobile number is changing. All those from my past who I waited for so long to say something to me will no longer have the opportunity to do so. I don’t need or want the contact anymore. My waiting stopped when I was adopted on June 11, 2013. I have stated the incorrect date on previous posts all over the place but the correct date. The date the family court judge stamped the adoption decree is not June 13… It’s June 11, 2013. (sorry mom, I love you)

If you’re in my life now, you’ll get a message from me next week with my new number. All the people I love will be contacted… and some that it would just be too weird if I loved will get contact too. Those who have used me, those who have abused me, those who made money inappropriately from me by lying to me, cheating me or stealing from me will not get the number.

It’s good to be alive. I am a very happy person (now). It’s good to be happy. It’s good to feel love, receive love and express it. THIS is my promised land… 146 lbs.

That’s all for now.

Quote of The Day 27 October 2013 – Happiness Is

English: Dennis Lehane, author of Mystic River...

English: Dennis Lehane, author of Mystic River, at the 2010 Brooklyn Book Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Happiness doesn’t lie in conspicuous consumption and the relentless amassing of useless crap. Happiness lies in the person sitting beside you and your ability to talk to them. Happiness is clear-headed human interaction and empathy. Happiness is home. And home is not a house-home is a mythological conceit. It is a state of mind. A place of communion and unconditional love. It is where, when you cross its threshold, you finally feel at peace.”
Dennis Lehane

Quote of the Day 21 October 2013 – Anyway

“The Paradoxical Commandments People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.” ? Kent M. KeithThe Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council – Misattributed To Mother Theresa