21 Habits of Happy People – Day 2~ Choose Your Friends Wisely

First word: April 19, 2014 at 7:50pm

Day two of 21 habits of happy people has taken almost a full month to complete. How do I remain mindful, living in the present day, not focusing on the past or the future? How can you write around a single quote and remain mindful? We have four words today, “choose your friends wisely”10277069_668442069895597_5479931268732248266_n(1)

You don’t become what you want, you become who you hang out with or what you have learned to accept. This matters. How your friends act has an impact on how you will act. Be around people who will encourage you to do the right thing. Choosing your friends also is a reflection on how we feel about ourselves.

In the search that we go through to feel wanted or accepted or loved, we sometimes lower our standards and allow the wrong people to have influence in our lives. It’s important that you let the right people into our life, who offer a positive influence. In many cases, you may not know or understand what your real standards are because your are following someone elses bad, negative influence. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped by others because of your past.

Friendship / Amistad

Friendship / Amistad (Photo credit: victor_nuno)

Your friends can make you feel like a million dollars, full of worth and figuratively the richest person in the world. They can also make you feel like a piece of shit. I used to be very poor but with bank accounts full of money, I felt poor… empty. This is my history, following the bad influence merely for the sake of acceptance and a feeling of comradery. It was always a facade. I think many people have been left in a ditch with a knife in their back.

Friend drama follows family drama. We all pursue perfection in one way or another. Sometimes it is “repeating to perfection” whether that is a dysfunctional friendship to match a dysfunctional family or just being on the wrong path due to low self worth. How does someone from an abusive family often choose friends or relationships? The answer is relative to “repeating to perfection”. If dysfunction or abuse is all you know, this can be all you attract or are attracted to until perfection. This perfection can be pain, anger, physical abuse, self abuse and even death.

They are probably best friends since they were...

They are probably best friends since they were kids. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The perfect friendship is one where all you have to do is bring in yourself and reciprocally, you hopefully receive the same investment from a friend. You don’t have to remake yourself to become part of a group or in a single individuals life. You shouldn’t feel the need to impress someone or have any feeling of inadequacy. You should both like each other for who you are… not who you pretend to be or want to be. Friends should want to be your friend for who you are, not what you have… not who you want them to be. This can create a positive influence in your life… almost by accident.

You shouldn’t have to feel that you aren’t good enough. You should be accepted for who you are and by the same token, you don’t want to attract someone who will put you down, nor should you have any feeling of inadequacy or jealousy. A real friend pulls you up and keeps you from falling off a ledge. They don’t just stand there and watch. Friends build off of each other.

If you have no solid foundation in family, you are susceptible to friendships and relationships with no foundation at all. Friends are not for finding the right party or a popularity contest. Friends are for building trust, kindness, a nurturing relationship where one builds up the other, stands next to the other in times of trouble. There are plenty of fair weather friends… but the weather isn’t always sunny and 72, like my cave. When the weather isn’t fair, friendships crumble and fall apart.

Friendships should be primarily about mutual giving and not using or exploitation in one way or another. Friendships need to have some sort of common bond that holds it together. Think about what you value or… your values and see that they match in friendship. If a friends values do not match yours, you may end up doing things that you are not comfortable with personally.

Only you yourself can determine which of your friends (if any) are a healthy solid influence in your life. And only you can determine if the friendship has any value or serves a purpose other than momentary feelings of happiness or worth. Only you can make that value judgement and if there is no emotional value, it’s also up to you to make a friendship less relevant. There’s no need for more drama or pointing fingers… it just means that person or people need to change from friend(s) to associates and reduce the influence they have oer you.

When making new friends, you need to do so in total blindness, so nothing superficial has an influence over allowing better, healthier people into your life. Be the kind of friend that you want to be with… not the other way around. By doing this, you will attract what is right and healthy for you and a friendship. The key to this is being yourself.

So… here we go… “Choose your friends wisely” and be sure they have the same set of values as you. If you can sit across from or next to a person and not have to talk… just be… that’s a good start of a friendship. If you feel the need for liquid courage, perhaps you need to rethink the friendship. If your friend feels the need for liquid courage, that’s a sign for you. If you feel the need for liquid courage yourself… you’re in the wrong place.

Dirty or Clean, Crumpled or Finely Creased, You Are Still Priceless

The Twenty Dollar BillA well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.”He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, “Who still wants it…?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.“My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special-Don’t EVER forget it.” If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it may bring. Count your blessings, not your problems.

attribution given to: unknown

Poetry of the Day 04May 2014 – Living With Integrity

 

Speak The Truth

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes.

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.” 
 Barbara De Angelis

 

"You never lose by loving. You always los...

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” -Barbara de Angelis (Photo credit: QuotesEverlasting)

21 Days of Happy Habits ~ Day 1 – Appreciate Life

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with”. Mark Twain

It’s good to be alive.

I’ve written that a lot in recent years. Every single morning I wake up after a good night sleep I look in the mirror and realize how lucky I am to be here, still. I’ve grown into not just appreciating but loving life and those who have chosen to be with me. My people give me reason to want to live and appreciate life and those that are in it.

appreciation+more

appreciation+more (Photo credit: Ex-InTransit)

I like to think I can look through any facade and see the good in people. Good can come from evil and when it does, it’s a great accomplishment. Each day I try to make a positive impact on someone’s life, including my own.

The time I take to volunteer and help others is repaid with the knowledge it helps me appreciate life and what I do have.

I know what I have in my life… my large blended family, my small group of friends. I also remember what I never had in my life before last year. That doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t take anything or anyone for granted and make sure I am a part of the lives of those who are close and important to me.

I take my experiences, good and bad and use them to cultivate personal growth and a part of that is learning to appreciate life and all that comes with it. Learning to appreciate life has little to do with tangible items we all have and love and think we can’t live without. It’s just stuff and if you somehow lose that stuff, it’s makes it easier to remember what you do have… The intangible and appreciation of life.

All You Need Is Blood – Rat Poison vs Life (REPOST)

English: Bags of blood collected during donati...

English: Bags of blood collected during donation, showing dark colour of venous blood. Cropped from original photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Due to popular demand, this derivative work is reposted

Blood girl

Blood girl (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to
play the game
It’s easy

There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
nothing you can do but you can learn how to be
you in time
It’s easy

All you need is blood
All you need is blood
All you need is blood, blood
Blood is all you need

Blood clot diagram (Thrombus)

Blood clot diagram (Thrombus) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)

All you need is blood
All you need is blood
All you need is blood, blood
Blood is all you need

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where
you’re meant to be
It’s easy

(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)
(blood, blood, blood)

All you need is blood
All you need is blood
All you need is blood, blood
Blood is all you need

Bleeding wound on finger

Bleeding wound on finger (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

All you need is blood, all together now
All you need is blood, everybody
All you need is blood, blood
Blood is all you need

Blood is all you need
Blood is all you need
Blood is all you need

Mindful Quote of the Day 27MAR 2014 ~ Groundlessness

Ani Pema Chödrön

Ani Pema Chödrön (Photo credit: albill)

Underneath our ordinary lives, underneath all the talking we do, all the moving we do, all the thoughts in our minds, there’s a fundamental groundlessness. It’s there bubbling along all the time. We experience it as restlessness and edginess. We experience it as fear. It motivates passion, aggression, ignorance, jealousy, and pride, but we never get down to the essence of it. – Pema Chodron

"Even if we're alone, our yawns and farts...

“Even if we’re alone, our yawns and farts communicate.” – Pema Chödrön #Buddhist #LOL #Books #Text (Photo credit: Logan Donahoo)

Mindfulness of Life – Poetry of the Day 25MAR 2014

Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness t...

Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness techniques can help alleviate anxiety , stress , and depression (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When we understand that life is short and
Time is precious and if we will have developed
Some understanding of the Dharmma and life wisdom,
It becomes more precious.

Do not procrastinate,
Do what should be done today,
We don’t know whether we will be still alive tomorrow.

Today, now, do what should be done,
Try to accomplish your dreams, to do what you want to do.
Be mindful where am I going, What is my life goal?

Let go of the things of past, and
Be willing to fully live in the present;
Be willing to change and grow.

Often we are afraid and fail to change, to grow,
And because of lack of confidence and self trust.
We don’t try our best and not determine enough.

We are responsible for ourselves and our life,
No matter what happened in the past and now,
Without blaming anyone.

It is a natural thing for every being to experience
Good and bad things in life,
reflecting on this it helps to let go to not get attached.

Marc’s Mindful Thought of the Day 10Mar 2014 ~ Compassion

compassion hearts

compassion hearts (Photo credit: DanLacher)

Cultivation of compassion is not something you can just snap your fingers and obtain. Being compassionate towards others is something that has to come from mindfulness.

Mindfulness keeps you in the present moment with focus on only the current moment. Avoiding negative thoughts and focusing attention only on the present moment, not what will happen tomorrow or next month or what happened in the past. Making no assumption about the future, recognizing and stopping instinctive or habitual reactions to stressful situations in life is a prerequisite to obtaining mindfulness..

Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness t...

Clinical research shows Buddhist mindfulness techniques can help alleviate anxiety , stress , and depression (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s not reasonable to claim you are a compassionate individual while at the same time putting your compassion on your calendar. Compassion on only certain days of the week and the other days you are a vicious, sadistic person with a nickname “hyppocrates” by causing stress, pain and suffering to others and having no concern about it while creating an illusion of compassion. This turns you into a hypocritical, diabolical monster.

Mindfulness comes from the ability to breath and focus on the present moment. If your mind wanders to some other place or time, being able to recognize this wandering and where your mind has wandered off to is key to mindfulness. Recognition of the reaction you are experiencing is necessary to return to breathing and focusing on each breath and not negative or painful thought, anticipation of something not necessarily real, such as what occurs with a phobia.

That’s all I have for you this morning. It time to breath and to focus in the moment.

Marc Gilbert-Widmann (March 10, 2014)

mind·ful·ness
?m?ndf?ln?s/noun
 
  1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
    “their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”
  2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

 

Quote of the Day 07 March 2014 – Personal Revolution

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”

English: Jim Morrison in 1970.

English: Jim Morrison in 1970. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

English: Mug shot of Jim Morrison.

English: Mug shot of Jim Morrison. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending – performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act – and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession.”
Jim Morrison

English: For the youth, Idols of Rock and Pop ...

English: For the youth, Idols of Rock and Pop Music Deutsch: Für die Jugend, Idole der Rock- und Popmusik :*Graphics by Antonia Graschberger :*Ausgabepreis: 70+35 Pfennig :*First Day of Issue / Erstausgabetag: 14. April 1988 :*Michel-Katalog-Nr: 1362 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anonymous Quote of the Day – 26 Feb 2014

English: A logo for the Quote of the Day on Si...

English: A logo for the Quote of the Day on Simple English Wikiquote (but may be used elsewhere). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Since light travels faster than sound, isn’t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?”